If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
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