About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
