I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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