mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
