I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
