it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Randomize
