Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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