saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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