I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Randomize
