Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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