My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
