he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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