Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Pants are for mortals
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
