all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Randomize
