party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
