Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
