omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
you didnt know i had herpes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
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