"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she looked like the before picture.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Terrible idea I love it
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
