Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize
