its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
