Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
