After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
So squirting runs in the family.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
