I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
