How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
