I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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