someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
