Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
