i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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