It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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