So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
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