Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
