Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
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