He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
