Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
The best revenge is premature balding
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize