I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize