You're a womanizer and a bitch.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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