ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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