Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm sobbing to NWA
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
