i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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