I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just cut my nipple shaving
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
