highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
she peed on how many people?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
