Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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