well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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