He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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