Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
