im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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