This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
We talked him into tasing himself.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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