people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Randomize
