Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
