How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
