Dual....:-)
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
