At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge my taste in strippers
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize