Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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