Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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