Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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