A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
