There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
