your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize