make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
