so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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