dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
