But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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