The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
