She went from zero to smokin in five shots
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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