So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
